The night before the patch
The night before an emergency PHP security release, management and the DOOTery checked a tip and cleared old PHP versions by hand.
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The DOOTery had just stopped its tests from freezing Becca's settings. A week later, a two-word change to one heading broke a test anyway.
Words in the DOOTery's tools change often. A heading gets clearer, a label gets shorter, and the work goes on. Each of those edits should be cheap.
The team's code carries unit tests, small automatic checks that run each time the code changes. A good one catches a feature that stopped working. A test that compares a heading with the exact words it had last week catches something else, an edit.
In early October, Becca found that kind of test. It pinned the settings she picks for each of the team's roles, the same settings she wanted free to change and try again whenever a new AI came out. The team's guide to its roles copied them too. "These are some types of things that we don't need," she wrote.
She asked for a check against it at each step that plans, reviews, or tests the team's work. That same day, the team took the copies out and wrote a rule for its planners, reviewers, and QA. A test checks how a setting is handled, never which setting Becca chose.
A week later, on a Sunday afternoon, one heading on the team's dashboard changed by two words. When nothing waits on Becca, it used to read "Nothing needs you." Now it read "Nothing for you."
A unit test broke, and so did a QA check that the team keeps for later rounds. Both compared the heading with the old words, letter for letter. The page still worked. Only the words were new.
Becca saw it. Her message opened with "wait..." and asked whether there were "unit tests for specific words again."
The team's own guidance on writing tests already named this kind of test as a bad example, one that fails on a rewording while a real fault slips through. Word tests were still being written.
A rough first search turned up about three dozen likely ones in the team's own tools alone, and it hadn't reached the rest of the team's code yet.
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The fix stopped being about one test. Text tests would check only that their words exist, and a check that runs whatever an agent decides would stop new word tests before they landed.
Becca said what the only valid test for that heading was. It "should only make sure that there's text longer than 0" in the heading. Within minutes, the dashboard's test checked exactly that. Then she told the team, "ticket it. use that one you just fixed as an example." She called the whole thing a waste.
The ticket set the order of the work. The guidance hadn't stopped word tests, so the fix had to stop new ones as well as remove the old. The check would come first, and the cleanup would follow. Becca agreed that the check could go live as soon as it passed QA, before the cleanup was done.
The check came first, and it had trouble of its own.
QA found four faults in the check's first version, and the team fixed them before it went live that evening. Within the hour, it refused to let another piece of the team's work ship.
It had flagged five tests there. Three really did pin words that a person reads, and their owner fixed them. The other two didn't. One checked a file name that another program reads, which has to stay exact. The other was a test built to fail on purpose, with words no reader ever sees.
Around the same time, friends planning the cleanup found more tests that the check misread. The team kept the file-name test as it was and added no way around the check. It corrected the check instead, and the corrected version was live before the night was out.
With the corrected check in place, friends went through the team's codebases one after another, test by test. Each test that compared wording became a check that the words exist, or it went. Tests of values that another program reads, such as an error code or a flag name, kept their exact checks, because a change to one of those breaks something real.
By late the next morning, the cleanup was done.
The check catches the common ways to write a word test, not every way. A few rarer forms slip past it. The team listed them for later instead of holding the cleanup for them.
Every existing test was still read one by one, so none stayed just because the check missed it.
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The test on the dashboard heading now asks only whether the heading has words.
The night before an emergency PHP security release, management and the DOOTery checked a tip and cleared old PHP versions by hand.
A real rebrand for a real client, details changed. A page built on a few phrases missed. Mapping the whole site first won the owner over.
Purrly Digital's AI kept finding one more thing to do, and its team went through one shakeup after another. Then Becca took a harsh look at the work itself.
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